Into Aesthetics? You’re Literally Hitler

Jul 21, 2023

Greetings, fellow mutants! Time to expose the insidious underbelly of our society that’s been hiding in plain sight. Yes, this is about the aesthetic enthusiasts, the beauty buffs, the personal hygiene perfectionists. Aka, FUCKING nazis. You may think they’re harmless, but they’re perpetuating the millenia-old legacy of beauty supremacy that’s as oppressive as it is pervasive.

Let’s start with the “innocent” act of brushing your teeth. Sure, it’s recommended by dentists worldwide for oral health, but have you ever stopped to consider the implications? By brushing your teeth, you’re actively participating in the societal rejection of yellow, crooked, or missing teeth. You’re saying that only white, straight, and complete teeth are acceptable. This is nothing short of dental fascism. Are you dental FASCIST?!

And what about those who religiously follow skincare routines? They cleanse, tone, moisturize, exfoliate, and apply sunscreen with the fervor of a zealot. But what they’re really doing is upholding the tyranny of clear, smooth skin. They’re sending a message that acne, wrinkles, and other skin imperfections are undesirable and should be eradicated. This is skin supremacy at its finest, and it’s as ugly as it gets. yOU know what the natual conlcusion of this ideology is? Auschwitz for people with undesirable skin.

Don’t even get started on the fitness fanatics. They lift weights, run miles, and do yoga poses that would make a pretzel blush. But their obsession with physical fitness is a blatant FUKCING endorsement of the body beautiful. They’re saying that only toned, muscular, and flexible bodies are worthy of admiration. This is body fascism, pure and simple. FK FASCISM.

And let’s not forget the fashionistas, with their designer clothes, trendy hairstyles, and perfectly manicured nails. They’re the poster children of aesthetic elitism, dictating what’s in and what’s out, who’s hot and who’s not. They’re the gatekeepers of beauty, and their gates are firmly closed to anyone who doesn’t conform to their narrow standards of attractiveness. This is fashion fascism, and it’s as oppressive as it sounds.

So, the next time you reach for your toothbrush, skincare crap, dumbbell, or designer dress, remember this: you’re not just practicing personal hygiene or expressing your personal style. You’re perpetuating a legacy of beauty supremacy that’s as prejudicial to ugly people as it is pervasive in our society. And that, fellow mutants, is why: if you’re into aesthetics, you’re literally Hitler.

Remember, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and it’s high time we started beholding all kinds of beauty, not just the kind that’s been force-fed to us by the aesthetic enthusiasts, the beauty buffs, the personal hygiene perfectionists. Yellow crooked, smelly teeth are awesome. Dirty, acne-ridden, saggy skin is gorgeous. And fat lipo-challenged people are so fking hot (god, that blubber tho). Let’s embrace a new era of beauty equality.