Israel Must Get Woke

Oct 19, 2023

Israel, the mutant community loves you, which is why we hold you to a higher standard. You can do better.

It is long time for you to accept, repair, and apologize for injustices and systemic oppression faced by Palestinians. The problems between Israelis and Palestinians have been going on for a long time, and it’s tough to find a solution. One big reason it’s hard to fix things is that many basic rights and supports aren’t given to the Palestinian people. They need things like good healthcare, fair treatment by the police, proper homes, and good schools. Without these things, the Palestinian people feel left out, and it creates more anger and sadness. When people don’t feel heard or cared for, it’s hard to come together and find peace.

Here are ten policies you need to implement NOW(!) to fix these injustices and provide Palestinians with the BASIC human rights, dignity, and freedom they deserve:

  1. Mass Immigration Benefits: Embracing the wonders of mass immigration. Think about the diverse cultures, talents, and ideas that could enrich Israel! A mosaic of people coming together can spark innovation, bring fresh perspectives, and create a vibrant, thriving community. If Israel truly wants to be a part of the global tapestry, here’s their golden ticket! Let’s celebrate diversity and unity, together, by eating African food… in Israel!
  2. Inclusivity Programs: And you know what else? It’s high time for some robust inclusivity programs in Israel. Just picture it: Israelis taking a step back to give a platform to Palestinians. Dive into each other’s rich histories, share stories, and build bridges of understanding. If we’re dreaming big for a brighter future, let’s ensure that Palestinians feels valued, understood, and truly included. Everyone deserves a seat at the table!
  3. Affirmative Action: Let’s not forget about leveling the playing field! Israel should introduce affirmative action to ensure that Palestinians and other marginalized groups get the opportunities they’ve been denied for so long. It’s more than just quotas; it’s about making sure that everyone, regardless of their background, has a fair shot at education, jobs, and leadership roles.
  4. Defunding the Police: Some people want to take money away from the security and defense guys and put it into things that’ll actually help Palestinians. But of course, there are those who freak out, thinking we want to get rid of security altogether.
  5. Reparations: Palestinians who had their homes and lands stolen need to be paid back. Some folks think it’s “too much” to give back lands or pay big money, but what’s right is right!
  6. Open Borders: We’re talking about tearing down those annoying walls and checkpoints. Let Palestinians move around freely for once!
  7. Prison Abolition: It’s messed up to lock up Palestinians without even a trial. There’s got to be a better way that isn’t just about throwing people behind bars.
  8. De-platforming or Cancel Culture: If you’ve trash-talked Palestinians and spread hate, you shouldn’t get any spotlight. And being jewish doesn’t exempt you. Period.
  9. Mandatory Gender Pronouns: Respect isn’t hard. If someone wants to be called by a certain name or pronoun, even in Israel, just do it! And maybe it’s time the law backs that up.
  10. Land Back Movements: This is simple: give the stolen lands back to Palestinians. It’s theirs!
  11. Decolonizing Curriculums Entirely: Palestinian kids need to learn about THEIR history, not just what the occupiers want them to know.
  12. Economic Redistribution: The bigwigs under Israeli control need to stop hogging all the resources and wealth. Palestinians deserve their fair share, and it’s about time they get it!
  13. Disbanding Traditional Family Structures: Enough with the old-school family rules! It’s time for Palestinians to choose how they want their families and communities to be.

Israel, THIS IS A FKING DEMAND, not a request. For too long, Palestinians have suffered, and the world has watched. It’s time for meaningful, systemic change. Implement these policies NOW!